I am far from perfect, but I can’t help feel that I need to fix that.
I’ve always known that I wasn’t near perfect, thanks to comments from family and family friends.
Mt dad especially was someone who was obsessed with my weight. He always saw my weight before seeing me. Until this day he seems obsessed with my weight, and all he sees is that and not the real me. If I were to ask him what my favorite color is, or what type of music I enjoy, he’d be oblivious.
He was determined on making me lose weight, so much that he would control my food consumption. He went so far to having me skip meals, portion control, and not letting me eat my older brother’s ate (such as pizza, tacos, burgers, etc.) under his care. Mind you, I was a kid who has always been a picky eater, and was forced to only eat veggies.
I was so conditioned to believe there is something wrong about me. So I started believing it.
For all of my teenage years I had the worse/unhealthy relationship with body. I hated myself and my body; now as an adult, I’ve gotten a bit better. Regardless of all that…I still have major insecurities that I’m unable to get rid of.
Society, my family, and my friends…they’re comments hurt me. Because of that, I’ll suffer for the rest of my life.
But starting to love myself is a small start.