Most people people find it hard to believe that someone my age has never had a boyfriend, or has ever gone on a date. Well that’s me, and I sometimes feel attacked and judged for being single. The worse part is that I get it from people I care about.
Some members of my own family seem to be concerned about my permenate single status. Some have even gone far to question my sexuality. When I was 16, one of my older brother’s asked if I was “straight”? And recently my own father has asked me the very same question! Yes, I am heterosexual and even if I wasn’t, why would it matter? And why would that be my reason for being single?
It really enrages me to think that friends and family think that I need a man in my life to make me happy. Sometimes I see women who are stuck in unhappy or abusive relationships. If that’s the case, I have no issues with being single.
I’m all honesty, I think that by me being shy, an introvert, having low self esteem, and social anxiety have attributed to my lonely love life. Guys terrify me, because I don’t know how to act around them. I also have this theory that I was born with some sort of guy repel…seriously, no guy(s) talks to me, let alone would ask me on a date.
Relationships are a lot of work, and I don’t think that being rushed or pressured into a relationship is a good enough reason to date someone. And currently no one at the moment catches my eye. Like I do find some strangers to be extremely attractive but that’s not what matters.
Until I learn how to deal with my inner demons is when I’ll be ready to date someone. Until then I have to work on self love and healing myself. Like come on, I’m only 21 and don’t think I am mature enough for a steady relationship. I have too much to handle, such as graduating college and raising two dogs.